So Weak...

Before beginning this post, I hope you get a chance to hear this throwback track (though it has no spiritual relevance to the ensuing post).

I think it's safe to say that when looking in on the mirror of our souls, we all want reflections of "good" bouncing back at us. Unfortunately, this profound desire is crippled by the spottiness of our past actions--actions that make deciphering our true reflections frustrating and sometimes painful. We are inherently good people after all, right? Well...

Why do good people do bad things? Or make poor choices? St. Augustine taught that man, being made in the image and likeness of God, has the unsettling desire to imitate the attributes of God. We see violence conducted by those who want to exercise power (imitating God's omnipotence) and greed among many in the pursuit of weath (to imitate God's benevolence and favor on whomever they will).

But what about doing things that you just know are wrong?

In Romans 8: 5-6, (KJV) Paul writes-

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. (5) For to be carnally minded [is] death; but to be spiritually minded [is] life and peace. (6)

What are things you do to be spiritually minded? Or, we might have to back up a second. What is being spiritually minded? Maybe I'll tackle this in the next post (whenever that is). But, if the list of things you do to be spiritually minded is short or nonexistent (like mine), then maybe this is a good place to start the journey toward being the person we hope we see in the reflection of our souls.

Today's Confession (I wasn't raised catholic so this is something I've always wondered about. I'm adopting it in my own life now, with my readers as witnesses, to release and forgive myself for some things I no longer want to hold on to):

• I am awful at being there for people who need me emotionally--especially for big things.

I have only recently begun to deal with some of the trauma I experienced at a young age (mainly because it wasn't until recently that I even considered it traumatic). I never allowed myself to pause, even for a moment, to deal with the weight of emotionally challenging situations in my own life or in the lives of others. I often sought after "havens": people who could provide emotional nourishment, shelter, work, etc. For this and other reasons, I often feel nomadic and emotionally homeless. I now have this wild feeling that I'm going to find "home" by being alone.

Pray for me.